Gatsby.

"Will you still love me, when I'm no longer young or beautiful" has been playing on a loop in my head over the last 24 hours. The song, sung by the irreverent Lana del Rey, features on the achingly on-trend soundtrack of The Great Gatsby, and essentially provides the theme tune for the entire film. A lot of people have a problem with the likes of such contemporary heavyweights (Beyoncé, Jay-Z, Florence & The Machine, et al) providing the accompaniment for a film set nearly a century ago. But this is a film by Baz Luhrman. The man who set Romeo & Juliet in a Latino suburb of Miami. Who had a turn-of-the-century prostitute singing Marilyn's Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend whilst gyrating on a swing. His whole style is about mixing the old with the new; breathing new life into familiar narratives. In this way, Gatsby has two feet firmly planted nearly a century apart: it captures in appearance and essence the spirit of the 'roaring 20s', whilst emphasising the fact that this is a 21st century film through the soundtrack and cinematography (most noticeably the now-seemingly customary release of films in 3D). 

In terms of whether the film stays true to F Scott Fitzgerald's venerated novel, I have something to confess: I've never read the book. Boo, Hiss, I know. It's on my to-do list. From what reviews I've read, the page-to-screen adaptation is pretty faithful, as far as plot lines go. Character-wise, people have problems. The choice of Carey Mulligan to play Daisy was criticised, claiming she was not as pretty as readers had imagined. DiCaprio's performance was "as deep as spilt champagne", according to one critic, "forgettable" by another. Certainly, Gatsby is no Blood Diamond, Revolutionary Road, or other DiCaprio films that required a high degree of 'serious acting'. This is not some kind of gritty drama. Gatsby, like the 20s itself, was all glitz and glamour; a world of appearance and illusion, of deception and duplicity. It wasn't serious because it refused to be so. It was a time of rebellious freedom, a decade that rejected the disillusionment of the post-War hangover, and the austerity of pre-War social customs, to create a dreamlike bubble of denial. Daisy is the epitome of the shallow woman: vacuous and self-centred, incapable of taking responsibility for her actions, a coward to the extreme. Mulligan's watery, wide-eyed beauty is certainly easy on the eye, but you are left questioning what on earth Gatsby saw in her. Perhaps we live in a different age. Perhaps strength and independence are now more celebrated qualities for women compared with those of the 20s. For me, it wasn't the casting of Carey Mulligan as Daisy that was the problem. Nor the choice of Toby Macguire as the narrator Nick Carraway - an actor who divides opinion, to say the least. I felt DiCaprio was all wrong. He is just too good an actor. It was like you could see him struggling to play what is, essentially, the attitude of a love-sick adolescent in the puffed-up body of a corporate pretender. He's also too old. Gone is the sparkle of youth, the un-lined face, the slim build of man who has just popped out of his twenties. As an older actor, the one thing he does nail is the confidence and self-assurity of Gatsby. What Nick Carraway describes as that "extraordinary gift for hope" - that everything will be, has to be, alright in the end. 

Everyone wishes they knew a Noah in The Notebook. A man who loves you so much that he'd build your dream house for you. A man you can respect. Gatsby essentially does the same, yet we feel only pity and contempt towards his pathetic attempts to woo another man's wilted flower through his parties at his grand house situated just across the bay from hers. Why is that? Is it because we feel he's being whipped by this superficial sissy? Is it all just a bit, well, sad? Perhaps the difference between these two romances is that we all know a Gatsby-type. [Usually] young lads who develop acute tunnel-vision for a nice-but-not-interested girl, and subsequently devote every waking hour to her comfort and happiness. Certainly, this seems to be something of a rite of passage for men - but to see it happening to a man in his 30s is not cute, it's tragic (and not in a Shakespearean way). 

So the question still stands: "Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?" Will you still love Gatsby when the music is dated, and the scenes look tacky? Probably not. But fuck, it sure looks good now. 

Love,

Belle x

The Happiness of Feeling Sad

Hi. My name is Belle, and I'm a self-sadist.

For those of you that didn't get the memo, self-sadocism is a term I just invented. No, I haven't yet approached the OED about it, but I'm predicting it's only a matter of time until it gets in there. I like making myself sad. Not 'sad' in the Alan Partridge meaning of the word (i.e. a loser - although, there are some that would argue that), I mean 'sad' in the literal sense. To put it in context, I've just got out of a bubble bath, complete with scented candle, in which I drank a glass of wine and read some fucking depressing poetry. Cliché much? Yes. But I feel great about it. Let me elaborate.

I believe the greatest art in the world - be that poetry, music, or actual painting, sculpture, etc - has been made by those who are feeling sad or depressed. It turns out that's not just my opinion. I read an article last year about how creativity is closely intertwined with an individual's depression, whether that be manic or clinical, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or even substance abuse (1-0 to drug addicts.). Case studies in this article included Lewis Carroll, the author of Alice in Wonderland, renowned for his heavy use of opiates (well, I mean, how else would you come up with a narcotic caterpillar who speaks in rhyme). Virginia Wolf was as famous for her depression as she was for her novels. And it's not just novelists: Winston Churchill, Vincent Van Gogh, and Einstein are other notable individuals who suffered from different kinds of depression throughout their lives. So why, exactly, does sadness and depression inspire such an outpouring of creativity - and why do we value the results? 

This post is going in the Relationships/Rants section of my blog. If you read any of those, it might be fairly clear that they are generally written at times when I've been ruminating over an event that's made me angry, hurt, sad, or depressed (yes, there is a difference between the last two). Wish List Mondays and Tune Tape Tuesdays are all very nice and I enjoy doing them, but in my opinion, my best writing is done when I actually feel something. And that something is usually sadness, in its many shapes and forms. I only really started writing last summer. I had split up from a guy I believed was the love of my life, and, to be honest, I was a complete mess; a breakup cliché. I didn't leave the house for days. I couldn't sleep, but when I did, I slept for 14 hours straight. I 'Hemingway-ed' it to the max: sitting in darkened rooms, drinking far more than my "recommended daily allowance", and chainsmoking my way through the best part of 20 a day. Thankfully, I had the clearheadedness to realise that this couldn't become my actual lifestyle forever, or, if it did, I should at least have something to show for it. So I opened up a Word Document, and I started writing. I wrote everything that I was thinking; everything that I couldn't bring myself to say to him, all of the memories I had of our relationship, and all of my dashed hopes of a future together. 20,000 words and a Summer later, I was better, and looking back on it now is strangely life-affirming:


4^th July, 2012
When we broke up, I used to say that my soul felt like it had been pushed down a flight of stairs. It was the only way I could think of to describe the pain I felt inside. Although its bruises have healed, the scars remain, and it still limps a little. Do you remember when I asked you that time in Brixton if you had been unhappy? You shook your head and said “no, it just wasn’t perfect.”


I'm not saying my Summer ramblings were the stuff of artistic genius. But what I am saying is that I know that my personal best is made when I can't contain what I'm feeling. I guess that when REAL geniuses 'forge their metals', we can instinctively click into their troubled psyches. Which, in my books, is as pretty close to real magic as you can get without waving a wand and going to Hogwarts. Some people believe that embracing the outpourings of depressive individuals 'romanticises' the disorder. I don't personally see the bad in that. As a society, I think we're too quick to ostracise those who struggle to control, maintain, and manage their emotions; those whose membranes are so fragile that the world osmoses through them far quicker than others. Coming from an all-girls boarding school, admitting that you had clinical depression was basically announcing you were bat-shit crazy and were going to go rock back and forth in your room and stab a voodoo doll. For those with a penchant for statistics, one in four of us will experience depression at some points in our lives, and in my opinion, it's a fucking shame that a very high proportion of those that do are too scared to seek help because of what other people think. Personally, I think 'romanticising' depression is the least of your worries; I mean, at least it's getting some recognition. I can also vouch for creative outpourings - whatever medium they come out in - being far better for you than taking some meds and shutting up shop. 

Just like people suggest men 'get in touch with their feminine side' once in a while, I think that we all need to get in touch with our inner-depressive. Which is why I like making myself feel sad once in a blue moon (colour-appropriate). Give me Leonard Cohen, a large glass of wine, and some poetry by Pablo Neruda, and you'll make me a very happy sad person. 


Who else is a self-sadist?

Love,
Belle x

Commitment.

Here's something I wrote a few weeks back but had forgotten all about...give it a read and tell me if you agree or disagree!


Back in secondary school, one of the texts we had to study for English was Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. The first line of this book is pretty famous. It - ironically - dictates:

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife."

It just so happens that 2013 marks the 200th anniversary of the publication of P&P, and it seems no irony has been lost in these two centuries: men simply don't want to commit.

Now, before I get hate-mail from a barrage of single men desperate to find a lucky lady, let me explain myself. I have a theory, that if you are a man over the age of 18, you have a fear of commitment. Humour me by casting your mind back to ye olde age of innocence, when things were simple, and you and your teenage boyfriend/girlfriend planned out your wedding and picked baby names together, and you thought everything would last forever... But it didn't though, did it. Now, while you ladies have moved on and had subsequent relationships with other people, my theory is that your teenage boyfriend still bears scars from your breakup - scars that can result an inability to commit fully to another person, because they don't ever want to go through the hurt, disappointment, and/or rejection that they went through the first time round. I can hear the sound of masculine indignation right about now, but bear with me and hear me out. 

I have a friend, who, by his own admission, "cannot commit to a sandwich" - and, in my experience, he's not alone. After splitting with my boyfriend of 3 years at 20, I have had precisely three relationships worth noting - two of which have ended because the guy was scared of committing. Now, perhaps these have just been easy excuses to get out of a situation that was slowly killing them (HA.), but IF we take them for their word (and trust me, it took them quite a while to admit this was the reason), then we're left with the question: If guys are scared of committing, why do they get into a relationship? Well, ladies and gents, I have a theory for this too. I have another friend who, like myself, is currently in his final year at university. In the past three years, his choice of post-university career path has changed from spy, to lawyer, to pilot, and I now believe he is currently planning on going into banking. He likes to determine his future on what sounds cool at parties. Now, I'm the first to admit that I don't know what precisely what I'm going to do after university, but my point is that I believe guys have a similar attitude when it comes to relationships: they like the sound of 'having a girlfriend' - just not necessarily the practicality.  

Now before you palm me off as some kind of psycho who pictures herself waltzing down the aisle with every guy she meets, I don't believe 'commitment' in a relationship necessarily equals marriage. For me, it simply means putting some sort of effort into being there for another person. The truth is, girls love again and again, without fear or hesitation. I don't believe the same can be said about men - at least between the ages of 18 and 30. You only need to look at the countless relationships that are sustained through the legwork of one half: the women. Granted, the initial 'chase' does come, more often than not, from the guys, but after that, they tend to start treading water rather than swim - and it's left to their girlfriends to pull the relationship along. One argument is that it's just not natural for men to commit to another human being at this age, or even, at all. After all, the male species is not designed to be tied down to one partner - it's all about 'mass-production'; sowing your wild oats as far and wide as possible. If that's the case, how come there are so many (seemingly) happy marriages? Or marriage at all? We've all heard the - proven - theory that men mature mentally slower than women. If so, maybe that explains why the 'trauma' of their first failed relationship affects them so deeply. Perhaps guys just take longer to get over disappointment than women. That's not any knock on your masculinity, male readers, it's just scientific theory. 

Curious to know if anyone thinks the same, or if I'm just a bitter old witch, I asked a couple of friends:

"Do you think guys, on the whole, are scared of commitment?"

"I think they are at first. But if they really care about a girl they forget about their fears. At the end of the day, men are designed to protect and help women."

"I think that it really does depend on the individual. Different people want different things at different stages in their lives. On the whole though, if we're looking at the 18-24 Thomas Cook Holidays target age group, I'd say a majority of them don't like commitment. Not scared of it per se, but worry in the back of their mind that while they're young and more or less free they might not have seen all there is to see, and good old FOMO (of a sort) kicks in. It's not all cynicism though - perhaps some guys might not be thinking a whole leap into the future, so when the topic comes up or their significant other starts hinting at things beyond his current scope of interest, he might feel like he isn't reciprocating those feelings. Not wanting to feel like that's unfair and wanting to avoid a disagreement or say something daft he backs off. "


"A lot of guys our age don't want commitment but I'd say so are just as many girls -  as a rough law of averages. In short, to adhere to the line 'On the whole', guys, are just as 'scared' of commitment as girls are,  I wouldn't say one particular gender are less likely to commit than another. But I would say is that, yes - and this has been the case since (liberal/non marital)relationships began in society/civilisation - young men have been scared of commitment - perhaps famously more than young women. Yet I think both sexes probably equally 'scared' of commitment. Women are now able to express their desires to sample to the same extent men have done for over two millennia."

"I think they give in to temptation too easily if it comes their way. Some are good guys, they're loyal to their other halves but even if they do cheat doesn't mean they are scared of committment, it just means they don't have much self control. Our generation is more liberal than it used to be, along with the fact there's no presure in getting married so young anymore. Therefore guys to take advantage of that and it has become 'cool' to sleep around. It doesn't however mean they are scared of committment, it just means they are able to put it off a few years longer than our parents may have."

Obviously there are exceptions to the rule. I know couples that have had previous serious relationships and are still wholeheartedly committed to one another - but there is a large proportion of men who just aren't ready...yet. I guess the only thing to do is to play the guys at their own game: go out, be young, and have a good time. Prince Charming will come a-knockin' when he's good and ready.

Love,
Belle x

Commitment.

Tune Tape Tuesdays #15

As if you needed any more persuading that Tune Tape Tuesdays is the place to go to for new music and upcoming artists, I've just learned that White Noise by Disclosure - featured on here back in January - has catapulted to number 2 in the UK charts! To celebrate this, I've put together what I think is the best collection of tunes in Tune Tape Tuesday history. And to top it all off, you lucky buggers can have all of them for FREE by just clicking HERE. None of these tunes are very Valentine's Day related, but I think you'll find back in January I did a Tune Tape that featured my favourite songs for sexy times (if you don't believe me click HERE), but I'll also put a little list at the bottom of my favourite love songs. What can I say, I'm a people pleaser.

Top of the Pops this week is the exquisitely-named Chordasian with Cold Nights, which uses a sample from Lana Del Rey's Summertime Sadness alongside a beat that just makes you want to dance. They've also done an amazing remix of Two Door Cinema Club's Sun off their new album, which is also worth checking out - here's a link to their Soundcloud. I'm expecting big things for the duo this year. Next up is Caveman and In The City - who encapsulate the new sound of Indie for the 2010's (the major difference being the incorporation of synth). Alongside the beautiful vocals is a definitively 80's backbeat which gives it a certain dream-like quality. Great for lazy days and hazy nights. For those of you who like to live life at full speed, I give you Bassnectar's Dubstep Remix of Underworld's Rez. Starting off with a festival-ly sort of vibe, it soon turns into hefty head-banger, with great drops and wobbles. For a track that says what it does on the tin, you've got Jimi Needles's Unreality/Unreal Banger, which is a fun-loving track with a retro feel. Guaranteed to put a smile on your face and a spring in your step. Also worth a mention is Forren with This Time, which features Sam Smith (who also lent the vocals on Disclosure's first single Latch), a great fluid DnB tune for you to kick back and relax to after a heavy night out. Worth a mention are two songs that capture the new spirit of RnB: Chrisette Michele with Charades (who has a free downloadable album HERE), and Rich Hill's Nomads. Rich is actually Tommy Hilfiger's son - and is, in a way, making the brand that ceased to be cool in 2004, worth mentioning again. Mikky Ekko, currently best known for his collaboration with Rihanna on her new single Stay, is actually an amazing artist in his own right. A few weeks ago I featured his track Pull Me Down, and this week I'm giving you Feels Like The End. Perhaps not particularly 'Valentines-y', but it's a beautifully emotional song and definitely worth a play. Banks is one artist in the wave of 'femme fatales' that have been gathering force in the last few years - taking over from bands such as No Doubt and Garbage from the mid-90's. Her sultry voice purrs lyrics like: 'Eventually you'll be fine if we break up, and one day I'll be fine too. We should just end it now before someone gets more hurt than they have to...', oozing sexy girl power that appeals to as many men as women. Finally, the amazing James Blake is back with his new single, Retrograde. He's had a few misses in his recent releases, but he's back on form with this one and predicted to go far. I've also chucked a few remixes in, including one of the opening track to Django Unchained, and another of the soon-to-be-touring Fleetwood Mac (if anyone has a spare ticket, send it my way). Happy listening! 





Finally, I give you...

♥La Belle et La Bête's Top 10 Love Songs♥

1. Bloom - The Paper Kites

2. Toothpaste Kisses - The Maccabees

3. Big Jet Plane - Angus & Julia Stone

4. Box of Stones - Benjamin Francis Leftwich

5. We Are Stars - The Pierces

6. Baby, You're My Light - Richard Hawley

7. Elusive - Scott Matthews

8. Somebody Loved - The Weepies

9. Song for Lovers - Bachelors of Science

10. You And Me Song - The Wannadies

Love irresponsibly,
Belle x

Wish List Mondays #15 - Valentine's Day Special

Some of you may have noticed that I didn't publish a Film Fest Fridays post last week. Even though 99% of you probably didn't give a rat's ass, I still feel bad about it, and am going to try and make it up to you this week. First of all, I've decided to take the pain out of shopping for t'other half this V-Day and give you three Gift/Wish Lists for you to browse; one for G-Friends, one for B-Friends, and one for those of you lucky enough to be single on this Hallmark Holiday. Second thing I'm going to do is put together a cracking Tune Tape for tomorrow. Who knows, I might even put everything in a folder for you to have for keeps again. Thirdly, I'm going to lock myself in a darkened room and watch a ton of movies to review on Friday. I've also got a fourth surprise, but that'd be telling. So without any further grovelling, here is the Valentine's Day Special Wish List - enjoy, and happy loving!

Girlfriends

1. 'Love Letters' Notebook, Smythson, £150. Bitches love Shakespeare, here.

2. Trip to Venice, from £130pp for Two Nights in a Hotel and Flights. City of love, here.

3. Pink Champagne by Veuve Clicquot, Waitrose, £45. Champagne showers, here.

4. 'Gentle Jade' Lace Contour Bra by Elle Macpherson Intimates, Net-a-Porter, £38. Bra-bra Streisand, here.

5. 'Gentle Jade' Lace Thong by Elle Macpherson Intimates, Net-a-Porter, £23. Thong song, here.

6. L.O.V.E. Card Wall Art, Urban Outfitters, £40. Play your cards right, here.

7. Violet Earrings by Swarovski, MyFlashTrash, £60. Ultra-violet, here.

8. Flowerbomb by Victor & Rolf, The Perfume Shop, from £48. Flower power, here.

9. English Rose & Violet Creams, Charbonnel et Walker, £18. Death by chocolate, here.

10. 'I Love You' Ring, Tiffany & Co., £100. If you like it, put a ring on it, here.

Boyfriends

1. View From The Shard Tickets, Shard London, £25pp. I Love View, here.

2. Yamazaki 12 Year Single Malt Whiskey, Waitrose, £42. Drink irresponsibly, here.

3. Neon Alphabet Lighting Compositions by Out There Interiors, NotOnTheHighStreet, £165. Shine a light, here.

4. Stainless Steel Automatic Chronograph Watch by Junghans x Max Bill, Mr Porter, £1,430. Wrist action, here.

5. Clubmaster Acetate and Metal Sunglasses by Ray-Ban, Mr Porter, £125. Bright eyes, here.

6. Heart Tshirt by Comme des Garçons Play, Coggles, £75. Wear your heart on your...chest, here.

7. Bestival Tickets, from £180pp for 3 Days. Best Fest, here.

8. Mad Men DVD Boxset Series 1-5, Amazon, £50. Hook him up, here.

9. Annie Get Your Gun Framed Vintage Record, RecordCovers.co.uk, £26. No more record breaking, here.

10. Printed Texture Leather iPad Case by Pierre Hardy, Mr Porter, £130. Print out, here.

Yourself

1. Embroidered Floral Collar Tee, Topshop, £38. Arts and Crafts, here.

2. 'Miss Sicily' Canvas & Leather Tote Bag by Dolce & Gabbana, Net-a-Porter, £1,255. The God[mother], here.

3. Pink Push-Up Bra, H&M, £13. A must for the bust, here.

4. Pink Ribbon Thong, H&M, £6. Pink to make the boys wink, here.
5. Printed Silk Turban by Anna Sui, Net-a-Porter, £120. Turban-boost, here.
6. Embroidered Tiger Sweat, Topshop, £32. Crouching Tiger, here.
7. Rainbow Necklace by Flash Trash Girl, MyFlashTrash, £30. Double rainbow, here.
8. Opaque Nail Polish in Trouville, NARS, £15. Nail it, here.
9. Lipstick in Antique Pink by Laura Mercier, Space NK, £20. Think pink, here.
10. Pink 'Lola' Studded Brogues, KG Kurt Geiger, £140. Kinks Pink, here.
11. Colour Block Felt Holdall, StylistPick, £40. Attack the block, here.
12. Skinny Strappy Sandals, Topshop, £50. Strap-on, here.


Happy Valentine's to all of you that are loved-up - for those of us who aren't, in the words of Woody Allen: "Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with a person you love."

Love,
Belle x

theoatmeal.com

Love, Actually.

I'm a big fan of animated shorts. No, not dancing pants, you smart arses - short films, often computer-animated or in pixilation. Pixar's been doing these for years, usually showing them just before cinema screenings of their full-length feature films, but in the last 5 years short films have come on in leaps and bounds. Helped in part with a nod of recognition by awards from big-name bodies such as the Oscars and Sundance, and aided by advancements in computer and graphic animation, animated shorts and short films are fast becoming the most modern and groundbreaking area of cinema. A great website for checking these out is http://www.shortoftheweek.com. Give it a browse, you'll be surprised at the stuff that's out there. A few of my favourites include French Roast (a charming little French animation about the kindness of strangers), Alma ('Alma' means 'soul' in Spanish - watch it to understand), and The Division of Gravity (a slightly pretentious but nonetheless accurate depiction of the life and death of a relationship). My all-time favourite is actually used for a music video for what I think is an incredible track by the Drum'n'Bass artist S.P.Y. It uses clips from a short film by Spize Jonze called I'm Here so effectively and beautifully that you wouldn't know it wasn't an official music video. I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's the best music video (unofficial or otherwise) I have ever seen. If you do nothing else with your day, watch it: 

To me, this is love. Love, I believe, is different for everyone. It changes with age, with the person whom you are loving, and the way in which you express it. I always said I'd know when I was in love when I could honestly say that I would willingly give my life to another. So far, I've only been able to say that twice. When I love someone, I usually write a lot. Lyrics, journals, poems - it's my way of making something intangible, tangible; something I fear to be fleeting, permanent. Unfortunately, after relationships end, these are not things that you want to cart around with you to remind you of what once was, so I tend leave them at home. However, being back for Christmas, and watching By Your Side, inspired me to dig them out, for, (to quote Love Actually) "if you can't say it at Christmas, when can you say it...". 

The first thing I found was a book. It was given to me for Christmas in 2009 by my first serious boyfriend of over a year, and contains our whole relationship in its pages. He had painstakingly retrieved and glued in all our letters, emails, pictures and songs we had penned together, for one another, and I had added to it after our relationship ended. In it, I found lyrics that I had written when I was 17 - lyrics that symbolised what love meant to me at that age. Here is a snippet of what I wrote:

Light two candles in the dark,

One for me, one for my heart

Make a wish and blow them out -

No secret who I wish about.

Will you stay and never leave?

No need to doubt as I believe

That we can make it you and me

No arguments, I guarantee

(Chorus)

Here's a song I wrote for you,

Nothing special but it'll do

Remember me when you hear this play

A way of being with you every day.

Ok, so it's not Shakespeare. Or even Bob Dylan. But it's a testament of love as a teenager, in it's wholesome, naive and optimistic glory. I decided to keep digging, and eventually came across a more recent artefact of romantic ramblings from the last year: a journal I had kept over the summer. In amongst the inane day-to-day recording of my life, I had written what love meant to me at this time, for a different person, nearly 4 years later:

"It is a feeling that never goes away, it is a longing, an unwavering certainty that you would do anything for that other person - even so far as giving your own life for theirs...I can’t think of anyone who would love you so unconditionally, so unselfishly, and who would do so much for you - come what may. That embraces and loves your merits and your flaws equally...I believe, in love, you accept and adore the imperfections, the quirks - it’s what makes the other person interesting. It’s what makes them them..."

After thinking about it for a while, I started to wonder what other peoples' 'meaning' of love was, so, rather than listen to some Leonard Cohen or Coldplay, I decided to conduct a little survey. Here are the results:

1. Have you ever said 'I Love You' and didn't mean it?

57% of you said YES

2. Have you ever truly been in love?

86% of you said YES

As a follow-up question, I then asked: What does being in love mean to you? I've decided to keep this anonymous, but here are some of your answers...

• "Being able to be completely yourself and not worry about scaring them away because you're both as strange as each other!" 
• "Knowing there is one person you can truly trust and rely on, knowing that you never have to make apologies or compromise who you are, knowing that feelings are honest and true and are going to last, knowing that when everything else around you falls apart you still have that one person who has this exclusive ability to make everything better, knowing that there is only one."
• "Feeling as though there is nothing that can not be conquered! You are completely safe and yet as free as you want to be. No fear or apprehension, just pure belief."
• "Being totally comfortable with someone whilst at the same time finding them sexy beyond belief, to enjoy them taking care of you and vice versa. I think although you should always have trust and belief in the relationship, it's good to have a knowledge that if they left you, your life, as you know it, would end..."
• "Having complete trust in the other person and knowing they do in you. And wanting to share every success, failure & experience with them as you know they will love you whatever."
• "So many things - it is laughing like you never have, smiling ear to ear, crying over the smallest argument and feeling every inch of your being die when you think you have lost them or they are hurt. It is such a complete, raw emotion that it is like a drug making you feel everything 100 times more."
• "Being in love means being a team. Putting the other person in front of you and being willing to do anything for them. Whenever you are thinking about things you always think of them first. I knew exactly when I fell in love because I always thought about what he would have thought before me and taking into consideration other his feelings before mine. It's when you feel altruistic and forget about what you want or need just to compromise for the other persons emotions instead."
• "It is very subjective, but for me love is definitely not a compromise... I agree love, or any relationship, is based on teamwork but in a team you don’t put someone before yourself, just as you would never put yourself before them. You stand side by side and support each other in every endeavour. Altruism isn’t reserved for love and love shouldn’t determine your character, I think it’s very important to be happy independent and to maintain that relationship with yourself regardless of relationship status... I guess the defining feature of love, in my perspective, is that it is healthy and mutual. Love is, to me, about a reciprocation of emotion because one of the loveliest things about being In love is knowing that someone loves you back, trusting in that and finding empowerment in it..."
• "It's a level of unconditional trust with someone. The kind of report where you can be in a room with the same person and that in itself makes you incandescently happy, even if you're both doing your own thing. I have found love often to be inexplicable, but it's a level of comfort and happiness that can't be matched."
• "Having the ability to overlook one another's flaws and respect each others differences, to feel comfortable in your own skin whilst wanting to be the best you can be with them, to hurt when they hurt and to feel indestructible whilst in each others presence."

Well. It would seem that "love, actually, is all around..."

Merry Christmas.

Love,

Belle x