Fate-al Attraction

Call me a dumb romantic, but I'm a great believer in fate. In fact, I believe more in the existence of fate than the existence of God (Blasphemer! Get thee to Hell you non-believer!). To clear things up, I don't believe that each and every one of us has some kind of transcendental map-type thing that details our future movements; just more in the hippy-ish notion that 'everything happens for a reason'. Using my parents as an example: they met at a party that neither of them wanted to go to, but had made a promise to turn up to (back in the days before mobile phones, you couldn't just make up some excuse over BBM to get off the hook). My mum wouldn't have even been invited to this party if her working visa hadn't expired and forced her to return to Australia, where on the flight she promised a nice old lady to come to her son's party (the son turned out to be an ex - but that's a funny anecdote for another time). In short, that party was a monumental turning point in their lives - many smaller events, unnoticed at the time, had led up to it, and it happened for a reason. What always delights me is that these 'turning points' in our lives always seem to be the most random days on the calendar; nothing exciting ever comes out of the birthday you've been meticulously planning for ages, but stumbling into that funny little bar you'd always seen but never been in to (probably after a drunken night spent crying over your horrible ex-boyfriend who dumped you for a Megan Fox lookalike) turns out to house the barman that becomes your future husband. 

This weekend, awake at around 3am (the magic time when the best conversations are had), I was asked whether I believed in "the right person, or the right time". Well, being such a firm believer in fate, but also a hopeless romantic, this posed quite a conundrum...

We've all heard the saying - or variations of - "love turns up when you're not looking". Similarly, we're familiar with the phrase "Mr Right-Now" (as opposed to Mr Right). So how do we know whether it is the right time? I had a boyfriend when I was 17, my most serious relationship to date. We went out for three years, and he treated me quite wonderfully for a teenager. We met at a festival that I hadn't planned on going to, which I had a long and tedious journey to get to (nearly throwing in the towel around 9 hours in), and which he made a terrible first impression at. Over the course of the weekend we discovered these strange, unusual links to each other - more than just mutual friends - and kindled a friendship which blossomed into something more. We were loved by each other's families, got along with each other's friends, and made plans (as young teens in love do) for our futures - marriage, children's names, the lot. For all intensive purposes, he was Mr Right. But it wasn't the right time. So I guess he must fall under the category of 'Right Person, Wrong Time'. My second most notable relationship was with my best friend. We'd known each since we were 14, and, like most intoxicated kids in parks past their curfew, we had a few drunken kisses back in the day, but subsequently had always been in relationships. Last year was the first time we'd ever been single at the same time, and, perhaps longing for those hazy days of cheap booze bought with a fake ID, we decided it was the 'right time' to give it a shot. Well, perhaps it was the right time, but it was a case of the wrong person. So to answer the question posed to me: I suppose I believe in the combination of Right Person and Right Time. My boyfriend's parents first met each other 10 years before they were married, but fate prized them apart, setting their stories aside until the 'right time'. In the interim, they got on with their lives, but still kept that door ajar - for no particular reason apart from the way they had felt when they were together. Perhaps that's why I prefer to keep on good terms with those exes that have treated me well; to keep the door open in case they were the right people, it just wasn't the right time. Maybe it's the hopeless romantic in me, but wouldn't that be a great story? 

My conversation reminded me of a picture I had seen whilst doing my weekly 'StumbleUpon':

Call me crazy, unrealistic, or stupid, but I do believe that there is a Mr Right, and through some kind of invisible fatalistic string, you are tied together. What you do, your actions and life events, tightens that distance between you until one day, you find yourself knotted up side by side. Because, if things don't happen for a reason, then, like, what's the point? Our lives are therefore just a string of random, meaningless actions that hold no greater purpose than sustaining us before our inescapable death. Which is just bloody depressing.

So go out, live, and have faith that what you're doing is leading to something great. Remember - the best stories are not "we met online through a shared interest in desperation", but "we'd been taking the same bus for years, and it took a dropped phone to get us talking". Right person. Right time.

What's your view?

Belle x

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