F.O.B.A.

In yesterday's Tune Tape I included the new Strokes song One Way Trigger. It's a great new single, totally in-tune with their older material, and it got me in the mood to listen to their first album, This Is It - in my opinion easily one of the greatest albums of the last 15 years. When I first listened to it as a teenager, the song Last Night struck a real chord for me as a young girl starting out on the then-inexperienced road of relationships and sexual encounters. Listening to it at 22, though, I have found a new appreciation for the lesser-known hit Alone, Together - not just because recently, that's how I've been feeling. The song, with its typically Strokes-esque strong guitar riffs, masks some really great lyrics, that listening this time around really hit home hard. Allow me to copy and paste...

No choice now, it's too late

Let him go, he gave up

I gave up

Lisa says, "Take time for me"

Dropping him down to his knees

Ah, chest down...

Take me away

See I've got to explain

Things, they have changed

In such a permanent way

Life seems unreal

Can we go back to your place?

Oh, "you drink to much"

Makes me drink just the same

People tried. Felt so right

Giving themselves good advice

Looking down sometimes felt nice...

He knows it's justified to kill to survive

He then in dollars makes more dead than alive

Let's suck more blood, let's run three hours a day

The world is over but I don't care

'Cause

I am with you

Now I've got to explain

Things, they have changed

In such a permanent way

Life seems unreal

Can we go back to your place?

"You drink to much"

Makes me drink just the same

The first time, it happened too fast

The second time, I thought it would last

We all like it a little different...

We've all heard of the acronym FOMO, and presumably know what it stands for. For those who have been living under a rock, or are over the age of 40, it stands for Fear Of Missing Out, and generally describes those types of people who's motto is 'Go Hard or Go Home'. Perhaps fortunately, I have never been a sufferer of this sort of phobia, but I have recently realised that I harbour a different, more serious fear. I suffer from FOBA, and it is the Fear Of Being Alone. 

A couple of weeks ago, my relationship ended. There was no tears or mess, we just both realised it wasn't working and decided to go our separate ways (I wish I could say all my breakups were as straightforward, but that would be lying). Unfortunately, no matter how uncomplicated, clean, or tear-free a breakup may be, there comes that moment when you think - I am truly alone. For some people, this comes as fucking great news. With their new-found 'alone-ness' they might take up a new hobby, sleep with an entire football team, or go on holiday with the lads/gals (delete as appropriate). For me, it's about as welcome a thought as an envelope full of dog shit. My FOBA reached its dramatic climax last week, when, half-way through The Notebook (I really am a break-up cliché), I realised that I have no 'Noah'. In fact, I might never have a 'Noah', or anyone willing to renovate a dilapidated property for me. And this terrified me. In between drunken sobs, I managed to dial my friend's number. After listening patiently to my wails, which were along the self-pitying lines of: "everybody I care about leaves, and everybody who cares about me I push away", he calmly, but forcefully, gave me his diagnosis. "You," he said, "have pretty much constantly been in a relationship since you were 14. What does that say about you?" I decided now was not the time to reply with "I'm in high demand (L.O.L)", and so plumped for a non-committing "dunno" instead. He sighed, obviously unappreciative of my ignorance to the situation, and told me: "B, you have a fear of being alone."

At first, I was indignant at this remark. I felt like he was palming all my relationships off as some kind of self-delusion; that they held no more significance other than a cover-up of a problem I didn't want to admit I had. But, thinking it over for a few days, I realised that what he said was true. I do have a fear of being alone, and it's not exactly a new thing. That's not to say that I didn't value all those relationships for what they really were: learning curves and memory lanes - some better than others, but all equally important and life-enriching in their own special ways. But it's true: I do hate to be single. I like knowing that I have someone there who is 'liable' to pick up the phone. Who texts you to ask about your day. Who wants to spend time with you, who thinks you're special, and likes to be close to you. It's also true that I feel more 'complete' when I'm in a relationship - that a previously empty space has been filled. But my conversation with my friend made me realise that this 'completeness' is only ever temporary - that the 'space' that I was filling with a boyfriend, never really goes away. Like the Strokes's song title, I now realise that it is possible to feel alone, when you are together. 

So what am I going to do about it? Well, I realise, like any other fear, that the best way to get over it is not to avoid it: it is to face it. To meet it head on, and to conquer it. I know this much: it's not going to be easy, or enjoyable, but, let's be honest, FOBA is not fair on anyone - be that yourself, or the poor guy who you choose as a temporary distraction. 

Ironically, I realise that FOBA is not unique to me; I am not alone in my fear of being alone. It's actually a pretty common anxiety, and usually - as in my case - goes unnoticed for a long time. But ask yourself; what is the bigger fear? The fear of being alone, or the fear of being incomplete within yourself? Relationships shouldn't be a mask you wear - they should be about a mutual love, respect, and understanding between two people, and within two people. Finding someone who 'completes you' is so wonderful because you didn't know you needed completing; it comes as a surprise. If you go out looking for someone to fill some sort of hole (in every sense of the word), you will never find them - for completeness comes from within yourself and radiates out of you. I hope, in time, I can radiate completeness too.


Do you suffer from F.O.B.A.?

Love,
Belle x

Tune Tape Tuesdays #13

So it's been a pretty good week. On wednesday, I finished my penultimate exam ever, which nearly concludes over 6 years of invigilated exams that I will not be sorry to see the back of. On the weekend, I surprised my mum with a visit home, ambushing her on the train - her face was worth the 4 hour journey alone. On Saturday, I went into London and saw an old friend, who dragged me along to an event at the new Broadway House in Fulham, and on Sunday I returned to commence my last ever term of university - WIN! So in light of this good mood, I've prepared one epic Tune Tape for y'all - of which a massive 8 tunes out of 13 are available for direct free download (you lucky ....). Hopefully you'll love it as much as I do...

Joint first place this week goes to the magnificent Wild Belle (not just coz it's a namesake) and the Employee of the Year remix of her song It's Too Late and Jakwob's new offering Fade. The former is a funky 'ambientronica' track that leaves you wanting more - fitting for both dinner parties and walks to the bus (I've tried both). The second is - once you get past the slightly cheesy opening - a tune that has a whole lot to offer. The lyrics can speak to anyone who's ever gone through a breakup ("find myself picking up the pieces of me that you discarded - so this is what they talk about when they say 'broken-hearted'"), and the beat is pretty damn catchy. Embrace it, enjoy it. It's what it's there for. Another tune worth a mention is The Strokes's new single One Way Trigger. While their last album was panned as a bit of a sell-out, this new track - I think - is a return to their This Is It days; which is what they do best. Have a listen and let me know what you think. Lexy and the Kill deserves a mention for their song Black Dog - an incredibly catchy indie anthem for the last days of January. My prediction is that they're gonna be big. Disclosure is back, this time teaming up with the amazing AlunaGeorge in their track White Noise - definitely living up to their first release Latch and perhaps even going further. Give it a listen. MitiS has been one of my favourite artists since the Summer, and he just keeps getting better. Check out his remix of Love Letters, and if you like that, get onto his new solo single Blu. He's always releasing great new material (usually for free download - HOLLA), so bookmark his SoundCloud page here.). Finally, I found this great remix of another one of my favourite artists of the minute - Lana Del Rey's Summertime Sadness. Admittedly, it's not one of my favourite tunes by her, but Monsieur Adi mashes it up with what sounds like Justice's Genesis...although I can't be sure. Whatever he's done, it sounds ace - give it a listen. Have an epic week, and let me know what you like and dislike - always great to hear what you think.



Love,
Belle x

Wish List Mondays #13 - Awards Season Special

If, like me, you're a big fan of The Daily Mail online (the only source of news for the discerning reader...ahem), then you would have noticed the broad coverage of the multitude of awards ceremonies that have been happening recently. While TDM focuses more on 'nipple-gates' and whether Taylor Swift is getting back together with Harry Styles, I thought I'd take inspiration from Awards Season for this week's Wish List, and put together a little mood board for all you famous people who read my blog (Hi Ryan Gosling) and are wondering what to wear to your next big 'do. To keep it from being too frock-focused, I've also sourced out some male fashion - just for you, Ryan. So without further ado, here are some photos of pretty people at this month's respective Awards Ceremonies who have been my inspiration this week.

Jennifer Lawrence in Christian Dior Couture at the SAG Awards
(OMGee she split her dress - Read Here)

Kiernan Shipka in Oscar de la Renta at the SAG Awards

Miranda Kerr in Louis Vuitton at the brand's Cancun Boutique Opening

Taylor Swift in Ellie Saab at The NJR Music Awards in Cannes

Eddie Redmayne at The SAG Awards

Here's just one of Ryan Gosling looking hot.

And here is the Wish List:

1. Blue & White Jacquard Off-The-Shoulder Dress, Topshop (!), £70. Snap it up, here.

2. Flapper Headband, ASOS, £15. Do the Charleston, here.

3. Satin-Trimmed Wool Tuxedo by Lanvin, Mr Porter, £1,330. Make them swoon, here.

4. Midnight Blue One Shoulder Gown by Lanvin, Harrods, £1,250. Don't be home by midnight, here.

5. 'Exotic Plume' Underwire Bra by Elle Intimates, Net-A-Porter, £36. Be an exotic dancer, here.

6. 'Exotic Plume' Lace Briefs by Elle Intimates, Net-A-Porter, £22. Shimmy the night away, here.

7. 'Courtney' Lady Print Bag by Anya Hindmarch, Matches Fashion, £395. Pretty as a painting, here.

8. Glass-Buttoned Cotton Tuxedo Shirt by Lanvin, Mr Porter, £395. They've gone all glassy-eyed, here.

9. 'Natalie' Canvas Wedge Shoes by Stella McCartney, Matches Fashion, £425. Drive a wedge, here.

10. 18-Carat Rose Gold, Diamond and Garnet Snake Ring by Anita Ko, Net-A-Porter, £12,175. Snake charmer, here.

11. Black Silk-Satin Tie by Dolce & Gabbana, Mr Porter, £95. Tie 'em down, here.

12. Patent Leather Oxford Shoes by Saint Laurent, Mr Porter, £430. Shine on, here.

13. Skull Cufflinks by Paul Smith, Selfridges, £90. Memento Mori, here.

I'm sure there'll be more exciting fashion to come this Awards Season, so stay tuned - The Oscars is on February 24th!

Love,

Belle x

Film Fest Fridays #3

I am convinced that I have tracked down the best cinema in the world. It's located in Manchester, costs less than a fiver for students, is 2for1 on a Wednesday, and has unlimited drinks and popcorn. It's also fairly lax on security, which is why, last Wednesday, me and my friend Ed decided to throw caution to the wind and see two films in a row - for the price of half a ticket. Doubtless karma is going to come round and bite us in the ass, but it was probably worth the adolescent thrill we got out of it. Plus it's freezing at the moment, and the cinema is warm (I do realise this comment puts us in the same category as tramps who ride the tube all day long. Don't hate the player, hate the game.). As it was my birthday treat, I chose to see Gangster Squad, as I had already watched Django Unchained (and what better birthday present is there than a topless Ryan Gosling), followed by The Impossible (chosen out of necessity - it was the only film on after Gangster Squad). As the one rule of Film Fest Fridays (apart from "do not talk about Film Fest Fridays") is to watch one film I haven't seen from IMDB's Top 100 (see how I'm going on that here), I plumped for The Silence of the Lambs...

Gangster Squad (2013)
IMDB Rating: 7.2/10
My Rating: 7/10

Just to say before we start, I got a lot of unnecessary stick for wanting to see this film. Granted, the reviews it has received haven't been across-the-board glowing (Rotten Tomatoes have panned it at 33%), but with a cast that includes Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone and Sean Penn, you know it's definitely going to be watchable. And watchable it certainly was. The general plot line is as follows: Mickey Cohen (Sean Penn), a former bare-knuckle boxer who has punched his way up from the slums of pre-War Chicago to the leader of the LA mob, runs everything from casinos to drug cartels. Cohen's battered fingers seem to be in every pie; he's bribed judges, paid off customs officers, and 'bought' most of the dishonest cops - in essence, he pretty much is the law. But fear not, for there assembles a team of five heroes, who, for their own respective reasons, wish to see the back of Mickey Cohen...and yes, Ryan Gosling is one of them. Slowly but surely, using a mixture of double agents, recording devices and good old-fashioned undercover work, they begin to make significant dents in Cohen's illegal Empire. There's no denying it: the film LOOKS great. It's slick, sexy, saturated...but it's soulless. It is to LA Confidential what a market-stall fake is to  Louis Vuitton; a bright, gaudy imitation. It's also very violent. Now, while I don't necessarily condone violence, I will generally overlook it if the script of the movie is up to scratch (like in Django) - but the script is as cheesy as The Expendables, and lacks any conviction. However, that's not to say the acting isn't good. Sean Penn as Mickey Cohen is formidable - and actually quite believable. Ryan Gosling as a rather damaged cop also gives a good performance. Emma Stone is essentially there for decoration and an injection of tits, for what would otherwise be a bit of a sausage fest. Personally, I think Gangster Squad has been given a bit of a hard time. It's not trying to do anything new, it's simply there to give you a couple of hours of glossy entertainment - which it does very well. In a nutshell, Gangster Squad is a saturated shoot-em-up, which while not necessarily a classic, sure packs one hell of an enjoyable punch.

The Impossible (2012)
IMDB Rating: 7.7/10
My Rating: 6.3/10

So it's a film about a tsunami. It was never going to be a barrel of laughs. But 30 minutes in, my hands were already plastered over my mouth as I muffled my moans of 'Ohmygod Ohmygod Ohmygod' at the car crash (or more appropriately, WAVE crash) unfolding before me. Essentially, for those who haven't seen the trailer, the film documents the experience of a family who go on holiday in South East Asia for Christmas in 2004, and get caught up in the devastating tsunami. Warning: this is not the 'highlights' version you saw on the news. This is more like a terrifying theme park simulation, where you are left gasping for air along with the characters. While I admire a film that manages to make me feel like I'm in an actual tsunami, it's not fucking enjoyable - I'll tell you that for free. One of the main aims of the film is to emotionally connect the audience with the on-screen family. It fails. The family is just too perfect - they're not in any way believable, or sympathetic. Two young, good-looking parents (Ewan McGregor & Naomi Watts), with three equally good-looking sons, who manage, in the face of danger and death, to stay calm, polite, and selfless. No one gets cross, stressed, or - spoiler - dies. Secondly, it's totally Western-centred. There is hardly any thought given to the plight of the local inhabitants - instead, all we see is a long line of gory Caucasian amputees, being thanklessly wheeled around by silent natives. In the end, the family is jetted off in the Zurich insurance private jet (thanks to Dad who works for them), and one can't help but think of those who didn't have access to a company-owned aircraft. What happened to them? My problem with the film is that it sugar-coats the real disaster. It's overloaded with blood and guts, but very little is made of the social, ecological, or financial impacts of the tsunami. Perhaps if they'd juxtaposed the privileged white family against a poor Thai one, who's home and entire livelihood was swept away, they could have injected some honest perspective. All in all, it's a disaster-movie masquerading as some kind of socio-documentary about the 'nobility of man', with a very misleading title. Ed and I agreed that 'Highly Unlikely' would have been far more appropriate (although slightly less marketable). 

The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
IMDB Rating: 8.7/10
My Rating: 9/10

A particular episode in Silence of the Lambs was mentioned in an article I had to read as revision for an exam I had on Wednesday. The module was entitled 'Broken Flesh - Pain, Wounds, and Belief, 1300-1650', and yes, it was as interesting as it sounds. Basically, because I'm what we call a 'visual learner' (aka too lazy to read), I decided I'd watch it under the pretence of it being revision. Boy oh boy, did I get more than I bargained for. The film opens with a sweaty Jodie Foster running some kind of obstacle course in a deserted and misty forest. Ominous. After the opening credits have rolled, we pan over a sign that reads: 'Hurt. Agony. Pain. Love it.', which acts as both a reminder of my module's lecturer and a portend of what is to come. Soon enough, we learn that Foster is a prominent student at the FBI Academy, with a natural gift for psycho-analysis. She is entrusted with a mission to go and speak to Hannibal 'The Cannibal' Lecter (Anthony Hopkins), a former psychiatrist-turned-killer, with the guise of getting his cooperation on a study of his psychological profile. In actuality, they want his help on a series of murders being committed by an equally depraved serial killer, known as 'Buffalo Bill', who leaves his victims partly skinned. Hopkins is brilliantly unnerving as the psychopath Hannibal Lecter, who is rather like an evil Sherlock Holmes - picking up clues to a person's past through what he sees, hears and smells. He's totally insane in the most terrifying of ways; he's highly intellectual and articulate, yet sadistically violent and perverted, and hypnotically commands your attention at all times. The script is very powerful, and the plot is full of twists, turns and original idea after original idea. It's gruesome, twisted, and totally unforgettable. On IMDB's list, the movie Se7en comes above The Silence of the Lambs. I think someone is missing the point. Se7en, while being a very good film, is pretty much entirely based on TSOTL. Kevin Spacey is totally channeling Hannibal Lecter. You can't put a copy in front of the original. It's just not cricket. Another reference I picked up was when we are shown one of 'Buffalo Bill's' captives, who is being held in a well in his underground torture chamber. The girl, who pleads to the killer from the bottom of this well, looks up the side to see bloody claw marks where previous prisoners have tried to scale the walls - complete with fingernails. RING any bells? In case you didn't get that pun, I am referring to The Ring, where in Samara's well we see the grizzly fingernails she discarded trying to escape. Just thought it was a weird coincidence. The Silence of the Lambs is the godfather of psychological horror/graphic thriller films, and will always do best what its successors try to better. It doesn't make for light watching, but it is totally absorbing and an all-round classic.


Any suggestions for next week?

Love,
Belle x

Tune Tape Tuesday #12

Looking at this week's Tune Tape, it would seem that music has mirrored life. I've been in a bit of a contemplative mood of late - not just because I've been cooped up revising for exams (which are all over tomorrow - WOO). I've suddenly realised that 2013 is going to be very different than any year that's gone before it in my life. Finishing university has always loomed big in my mind; a big, flashing, neon sign of freedom - but now that it's actually, like, a 'thing', it's pretty freakin' frightening... I'm guessing a few of you are in the same position. Chill. Change is good - especially when you've got an awesome soundtrack. Listen on, dear friends!

Tune of the week goes to the illicitly named Cocaine 80's with Fly Ass Pisces. Even in freezing cold January this song manages to transport you to a warm, sunny place. With a groovy 90's Hip Hop backbeat guaranteed to make your head bounce, this song is straight-up sexy, yo. Next up we have the simply ah-mazing Active Child, who was featured at numero uno on last week's Tune Tape with his cover of Ellie Goulding's Hanging On. This week, he's singing one of his own, Johnny Belinda. I said it last week and I'll say it again - this guy is gonna be big. Watch this space. For those who like a bit of Indie/Folk, Mighty Oaks and Ivan & Alyosha should fit the bill. The former has a definite Ben Howard sound to them, the latter has been labelled 'Beatles-esque' (although personally I don't see it). And with lyrics like "if I could wake my crooked heart, if I was there right from the start"; it perfectly reflects the mood I've been in this week. Much love goes out to Two Inch Punch and their remix of the fabulous Jessie Ware's 110% (If You're Never Gonna Move). Jessie's album was one of my favourites of last year, and T.I.P have definitely done her proud with this very stripped back, chilled interpretation. The Weeknd - the world's new favourite band - has been perfectly paired up with Truth in this dark Chillstep number. Perfect for those long, cold nights where you just want to immerse yourself in a track. Finally, I've spent all week trying to find a good remix of my guilty pleasure 'du jour' - Rihanna's Diamonds, and managed to find this one by Kaspersky Project. Unlike most of the generic house remixes of the song that are out there, this one is actually pretty decent. Give it a listen and let me know what you think!

Love,
Belle x

Wish List Mondays #12

Last week, I fulfilled my 15-year-old-self's dream. For two whole days, I became a model. Now before I get inundated with calls from Storm and/or Britain's Next Top Model, I have to say that it was for a friend's Graphic Design project - I was not (probably quite thankfully) strutting my stuff on the catwalk for Prada and Gucci. I don't want to say too much on here, as it is for her final project at University, but the theme was broadly 'youth' and involved approximately 30 costume changes, 2 boxes of toys, and 1000 photos. Paid in wine and cigarettes (which, let's be honest, is probably what any money would have been spent on anyway), we had a great laugh, and hopefully came out with some photos she can use for her project. Check out her online portfolio if you have a min - she's super talented. Without revealing too much, here's one photo from the shoot that I've very amateurishly edited myself: 

Get the Look:Tshirt: Topshop, £18. Get it here.
Shoes: Office, £30. Get them here.
Glasses, Bracelet & Necklace are vintage (safe.)

Having got into the 'groove' of youth, I decided to centre this week's Wish List around the essence of what we were trying to capture. After all, you're only as young as you feel... Peace out!

1. Wu-Tang Clan Jumper, Topshop, £35. Bring tha Muthaf*ckin Ruckus, here.
2. 'Little America' Backpack by Herschel, Urban Outfitters, £80. Pack your bags, here.
3. 'New York' Ribbed Beanie, River Island, £10. Beanie baby, here.
4. Leather Trousers by Marc by Marc Jacobs, Matches, £705. Nice leather we're having, here.
5. Printed Leather iPad Case by Versace, Net-a-Porter, £330. Turn over a new gold leaf, here.
6. 'Leave The Boy Alone' Tank Top by Boy London, Coggles, £35. Take its advice, here.
7. Gold Tone Cross Drop Earrings, River Island, £3. Double-crossed (geddit), here.
8. Semi-Matte Lipstick in Heat Wave, Nars, £17.50. Make temperatures soar, here.
9. Black Studded Shorts, The Ragged Priest, £65. Tell me about it stud, here.
10. Black High-Tops by Nike, Office, £70. Just do it, here.
11. Visor Sunglasses by Jeepers Peepers, River Island, £18. Wear your sunglasses at night, here.
12. Spiked Loafers by Jeffrey Campbell, Office, £130. Spike-U-Like, here.


Only 4 more days 'til the weekend. Stay strong.

Love,
Belle x

Just A Jealous Guy?

I have a friend - let's call her Erin - who's having some relationship issues at the moment. Recently, it's surfaced that her boyfriend has, over the course of a few weeks, systematically made his way through her texts, emails, Skype chats and Facebook messages. Somewhat unfortunately, this is a tale that we hear all too often. In this 'day and age', we have so many channels for communication; one click can provide the key to a 'Pandora's Box' of personal information that should have remained closed. Some months before our chat, Erin and her boyfriend had decided to swap passwords. In hindsight, possibly not the best decision she's made, but she gave it as a gesture of good faith - not (as her boyfriend has apparently taken it) permission to rifle through her private life. When she found out the disturbing truth (and the embarrassing admission that her boyfriend had found nothing to confirm his suspicions/fears/insecurities (delete as appropriate)) she felt - to put it bluntly - pretty pissed off. Seeing my friend so upset over this got me thinking, and I asked myself: in a relationship, is jealousy ever ok?  

I'm one of those lucky people who has honestly never experienced the feeling of jealousy. I've been hurt, angered, even humiliated and scorned, but never jealous when it comes to men or relationships. I'm not saying that I don't harbour the capabilities for jealousy, or that I'm some kind of karmic saint, just that - so far - it's never been an issue in my life. When I choose to start down 'Relationship Road' with someone, it has to be with someone I trust 100%. 99.5 just won't cut it with me. I've simply had too many chats with gal pals about their untrustworthy boyfriends to not have made that a rule for myself. But before you palm me off as 'Miss High and Mighty', I have experienced jealousy from the other side - from Erin's side - a couple of times, and let me just speak for everyone when I say: jealousy sucks balls. I like to think I have quite an admirable ability to get along with my exes (for more on that topic, click here). I Skype with them, meet up for drinks, hang out with their family, and - for me, at least - it's not in the least bit weird or ulterior-motive-y. Unfortunately, new or subsequent boyfriends have not necessarily seen this as a positive thing - rather as one to 'monitor'. Being a person who has never personally experienced jealousy, it has been known to cause a rift when I've forgotten to tell them about a conversation/coffee/lunch, as it comes across like I'm trying to hide something. In my experience, jealousy has always been quite negative. It has made me feel trapped, distrusted, insecure, and angry in equal measures. Whilst I understand the reasons and emotions that lead to jealousy (Jealous Guy by John Lennon is one of my favourite songs ever), I started wondering if jealousy really is just a natural 'side-effect' of being in a relationship. So, I decided to ask some friends about it.

The Male Perspective

"Jealousy is never ok. It's the 'green eyed monster' that turns us into people we don't want to be. But it's a fact of life - it may not be ok, but we can't really stop it from happening. Sometimes a little bit of jealousy is what's needed to kickstart someone into action. This action can be good, or bad - what's important is not whether jealousy is ok or not (because jealousy happens), but rather how we handle that jealousy... A relationship is about two people; one person's feelings are directly related to the other, so the other partner should understand and do what they can to relieve that jealousy. Don't ignite it, or increase it, or - worst of all - ignore it. Often people who are victims of jealousy say it's the other person's problem and they should deal with it. I disagree. It's something that should be dealt with together, and it should be remembered that the person who has been swallowed by jealousy doesn't want to feel that way - it's not like they wake up and say "hey, I want to feel jealous today." It's an all-consuming and grappling anxiety and fear that drags you under the waves of insecurity. I don't scorn people who get jealous. I feel sorry for them. It's a horrible feeling."

"Jealousy = pure poison." [how succinct!]

The Female Perspective

"Jealousy, in the right measures, is important. It makes your partner know you care. Too much and your partner is trapped. I don't feel jealousy as I don't feel threatened by the girls that approach [my boyfriend] where as he has the opposite. I think it says a lot about a relationship."

"In the beginning of mine and my boyfriend's relationship I was extremely jealous of his ex-girlfriend. They had been together for three years and I was cross. I had no reason to be cross, but I was. Photos of the two of them were all over Facebook, and made it even harder for me to ignore her. She had had a different boyfriend for over a year, but when we started to date she kept messaging him and needed all his attention. I woulnd't say jealousy is necessarily needed in a relationship, but it naturally comes with the 'relationship' title. You never want to think that another girl is taking the attention away from you, but then you enjoy other attention once in a while from someone other than your boyfriend. It's a difficult one, but i think when you're comfortable in your relationship you tend not to think about it, because if a girl is flirting with your boyfriend, you know he is coming home with you!"

"I don't think jealousy is ok because it fundamentally means you are insecure about something, don't trust your partner and/or have low self esteem. But, let's be honest, everyone gets jealous because its part of being human. We all have little sensitivities."

"I think everyone can be jealous. I don't think it's healthy, but it is a demonstration of love, in a way. So yes, I think a relationship can work with some. It would be weird if you went drinking with your boyfriend, someone chatted you up at the bar, and he didn't say anything. [I then asked if she thought there was a difference between being protective and being jealous...] Jealousy is fearing losing what you have. It's being territorial, so yes it's being protective. I mean, stating exclusivity is basically jealousy - it's putting a mark on what's yours, because you're worried that if you don't, you may lose it to someone else. So yes, a relationship can be jealousy - it lives off it, in a weird way. However, I think balance is key - too little, you lose the boy; too much, you choke the boy to death."


So, what have I learnt? I think there are two types of jealousy. One is jealousy over issues in your relationship (going out too much, getting drunk, being friends with "ridiculously good-looking" guys/girls), which I think can be fixed. But then I think there is a jealousy that can be ingrained in someone. That no amount of assurance, love, or Facebook passwords can hope to cure. A jealousy that stems from a deep-seated insecurity or past emotional trauma that can be near impossible to erase. One person may be able to live with it, another won't. I've learned that jealousy has the power to ruin, but it also has the power to make a relationship stronger; it can be an incredibly powerful tool, if used in the right way. I've witnessed relationships who have worked through jealousy and come out of it stronger on the other side. As with everything in life, I guess it depends on you, and your situation, at that point in time... 

Do you agree?

Love,
Belle x

Film Fest Fridays #2

For most of my life, I have lived in the UK - a country renowned for three things: tea, the Queen, and shit weather. Like everywhere else on Earth, we experience the four seasons; we understand that Winter is cold and Summer is hot(ter) - yet, every year, Britain is brought to a standstill at the first sight of a snowflake. Trains are delayed, roads are blocked, schools are closed, and flights cancelled - for when we open our windows in the morning, and see a dusting of fresh snow upon the rooftops, two words spring to our minds: Day Off. Visitors to our fair country on these days might grumble and accuse us of being inept at handling changes in weather conditions, but really, the truth is we're all just bloody lazy. No one wants to work when it's snowing. It's just not natural. So, on these magical, snowy days, I nest. I shack up in bed, put the TV on, scatter the surrounding area with provisions, plump up my pillows like an old lady, and just sit. And, if the state of the train services are anything to go by, the rest of you are doing exactly the same.

So, from me in my bed to you in yours, here is the second instalment of Film Fest Fridays - I hope you have a fabulously frosty weekend.

Les Misérables (2013)

IMDB Rating: 8.1/10
My Rating: 5/10

Ok, so I should probably admit to something before I begin: I cannot stand musicals. This does not mean I have no appreciation for music (as I hope you've been able to tell by my Tune Tapes) - in fact, I play 4 instruments, so have far more musical understanding and appreciation than most. I'm not a boring fun-sponge, either - my fun-dometor is resolutely set to Spongebob levels of enthusiasm. Having had a Grandmother who loved Rogers & Hammerstein almost as much as her own children, I have been subjected to a fair few musicals over the years, precisely three of which I have enjoyed: Moulin Rouge, The Sound of Music, and My Fair Lady. You might have noticed that 'Les Mis' is not one of those three. For nearly 3 hours, I sat in a darkened room with a bunch of strangers and listened to not only the on-screen warblings of the two-dimentional characters (and I mean two-dimentional in every sense of the word) but also those of the audience. I don't know when or where it became socially acceptable to sing along to musicals in the cinema, but let's get one thing straight: it's fucking annoying, and by the end of it, my 'fun-dometor' was set to 'murderous'. The story, based upon Victor Hugo's 19th century novel of the same name, centres around the character of Jean Valjean (played by Hugh Jackman) - a thief-turned-gentleman, and his life-long run from his former prison officer, Javert (Russell Crowe). During the course of this game of cat-and-mouse, Valjean encounters a number of salubrious characters, the interactions of which are all (poorly) set to song. While this might seem quite quaint when it begins, by 45 minutes in I am gagging for a spoken word. But there is no respite. To quote Jan Moir in the Daily Mail*, I still had 2 hours of this "tattered-trousered, undernourished, yodelling despair to go." And it just got worse. Russell Crowe sounds as if he's drunkenly karaoke-ing to Meatloaf. Anne Hathaway (who astonishingly has been nominated for 'Best Supporting Actress' for precisely 15 minutes on-screen) warbles her way through 'I Dreamed a Dream' before promptly dying, and Eddie Redmayne and Amanda Seigfried inanely twitter at each other at helium-high pitch for the last hour. By this time I was more Misérables than any of those in the film. Oh, but there's more. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but when I go to the cinema, I expect to watch a film. If I wished to watch a play, I would go to the playhouse, and if I wanted to watch a musical (humour me), then I would go to the theatre. What I'm trying to get at is there are different 'aesthetics', if you will, for these different genres of visual entertainment. Les Mis does not look how a film should look. It looks like a stage. This bothers me. However, it wasn't all bad. The film has been nominated for countless awards this season, but the only one I truly think it deserves is for costume design. I have to hand it to them - the characters do LOOK great. Whether or not they're entirely historically accurate is another point, and one I'm probably not qualified to comment on, but the clothes really are quite incredible. Secondly, you cannot fault the story. Like most great 19th century novels, the paths and fortunes of the characters  are so wonderfully and organically intertwined in a way that makes you understand what separates a good book from a great novel. It is unfortunate, and perhaps slightly ironic, that the characters in Victor Hugo's novel are so much more alive than those we see in the musical - somehow the music detracts from not only the characters, but also the severity and poignancy of the story. The message - which in the book is so wonderfully memorable - is lost in a cloudy fog of out-of-tune crooning, which, quite frankly, pissed me the fuck off. 

*If you'd like to read Jan Moir's full review, clickety-click right HERE.

Spirited Away (2001)

IMDB Rating: 8.6/10
My Rating: 9/10

My favourite childhood film is Alice in Wonderland (the animated one, not the 2010 version - don't get me started). The idea of another world existing just beyond our own, where anything was possible and conventions were turned on their heads, has captivated my imagination ever since. Which is why my friend Ed was so amazed that I'd never seen Spirited Away. For those who haven't seen it, the story follows a little girl, Chihiro, on an adventure in a world full of witches, spirits, Gods and monsters. The plot runs almost like that of a dream; scenes melting seamlessly into one another, twists and turns when new characters arrive, worlds turned inside out and upside down. Chihiro, like Alice, is both fascinated and terrified of the situation in which she finds herself. To get out of this dream-world alive, she must complete a series of tasks, which ultimately witness her evolution from a spoilt, dependent child into a free-spirited girl - ready for whatever life has to throw at her. Along the way, she encounters such characters as a spider-legged man, a mud-monster, a giant baby and a river God - all in the bath house of 'Yubaba', a controlling witch who confiscates the real names of her employees in return for their service in her establishment. Watching Spirited Away is - if you'll forgive the cheesy expression - a feast for the eyes. The imagination and creativity that has gone into constructing this other-world is astounding. It's a work of art, and, dare I say it, even better than Disney. There's something magical about hand-drawn, 2D animation. Perhaps it's the human input - the unmistakable imprint of a real person - that makes it (to me, at least) all the more impressive and captivating. Unlike a lot of films I've watched, when I'd finished Spirited Away, I felt like I'd actually done something worthwhile with my day. It touched me in a way that very few films do - it lifted my own spirits, and gave me hope that the art of filmmaking is not totally lost. 


Love,
Belle x

Tune Tape Tuesdays #11

If you're a student like myself, roundabout now is exam period. Which means everyone is in need of two things, music wise: chilled stuff to revise to, and some 'Block Rockin' Beats' to go nuts off when you're finished. Luckily for you, I've already sorted it out. 

Feeling guilty over not giving you any new music last week, I have sweated and toiled to source out a prime selection of 18 totally new tracks for you to listen to. No worries, you're welcome. Track of the Week goes to Active Child's hauntingly amazing cover of Ellie Goulding's Hanging On. This guy's vocals are just insane. I'm gonna put it out there: he's the next Bon Iver. Close second is Hybrid Minds's Remix of Jakwob's Blinding, which he released a few months ago. I love this style of DnB - it's perfect for revising, or just staring out the window at the world to. Really beautiful and easy listening. A trend seemingly happening in music at the moment is mixing up old-school R&B and Hip Hop with smooth, electronic beats and glitches, as seen in Ana Caprix's Dry Ice (using a sample from that unforgettable 2006 hit Baby It's You by JoJo and Lil' Bow Wow. Memories.), Wet Paint's The Rain Came Down, and WISKIM's Remix of Miguel's Sure Thing. For those who have trouble getting out of bed in the morning, pop on Adriatique's funky Rework of the incredibly diverse Major Lazer's (pron. May-jah Lay-zah) new track Get Free. It will make you dance like nobody's business. Sound Remedy always does a great job of reworking major artists' tracks; turning their tunes into something fresh, while still respecting what the song's about. Video Games (the original) is one of my favourite songs ever, so for someone to get a thumbs up from me on a remix of it is a big deal. For those crazy kids who love a good skank, I've got two treats for you this week. One comes curtesy of the infamous Zeds Dead who have remixed Marina and the Diamonds' Lies into an R-rated Dubstep banger, which is both filthy and offensive. The second is the relatively new Kicks N Licks, who have created one of the best drops I've heard in a while on their track Who Knows. For best results, play loudly on good speakers. Finally, we've got some miscellaneous tracks, which are definitely worth a few minutes of your time. Special mention is the eclectic track Requiem for the New World by AZEDIA. At 10 minutes long, it requires some determination to get through, but if you put it on in the background while you go about making your breakfast, I promise you'll be well rewarded. Flo of 'The Machine' fame also features in the A$AP Rocky track I Come Apart - my favourite HipHop/Rap track of the moment. 

Now it's time to sit down, shut up, and listen. Enjoy!

Revision

The New R&B

Party Time

Misc.

Love,
Belle x

Wish List Mondays #11 - S/S13 Fashion Special

So I'm doing things a little differently this week as well. Last week, I posted on Men's Fashion, and I got some good feedback. Namely from my friend Sophie, who suggested this week I should do a post on not just what's happening now in fashion, but what is going to happen in the future. Now, I'm not one of those girls who pores over the glossy pages of Vogue every month, or saves up to buy ludicrously expensive couture - but I do take a vague interest in what I should look out to buy in the near future. But I didn't think mere curiosity/bullshit would cut it if I was going to do an honest post about my fashion predictions this year. So I did a little research. Disclaimer: these aren't copy and pasted from a fashion blog, I just looked over designers' SS13 collections and wrote down what I saw looked like a trend. I'm also not psychic, so if you go and blow a grand on an oriental bomber jacket and you're too embarrassed to ever wear it - don't blame me. I'll also tell you what things from this year I think you should keep, and the crap you should probably throw out/give to Oxfam. Alright, let's begin.

BUY

Tweed - as seen on the Ralph Lauren and Burberry catwalks. Dress it up or wear it with trainers (my personal choice).

Burberry

Yellow - not neon, sunshine. As seen on the Louis Vuitton and Gucci catwalks.

Louis Vuitton

Gucci

Emerald Green - as seen in Burberry Prorsum and Gucci. Gain inspiration from the 'Emerald City' out of The Wizard of Oz.

Gucci

Duck Egg Blue - as seen on the Givenchy catwalk. Along with Emerald Green, this is my fave colour for this year.

Givenchy

Oriental - as seen on the Loewe, Proenza Schouler, Isabel Marant and many others. Personally, I think it's best to do this trend subtley, but if you're one for statement pieces, look no further.

Balmain

Proenza Schouler

Monochrome - as seen, uh, everywhere. This one's gonna be big, people. From Marc Jacobs to Chanel, everyone had a bit of B&W going on. Large stripes seem to be the order of the day, but I quite liked the subtlety of small polka dots and checks used in the Chanel show. Hey, each to their own.

Marc Jacobs

Chanel

Delicate Sandals - as seen in Topshop Unique. This wasn't a huge trend, but I'm going to branch out and say that I think 90's style, thin-straped, high-heeled sandals are going to have a comeback. ...or I'm just gonna wear them by myself.

Topshop Unique

KEEP

• Ankle Boots - especially heeled (good news for me, as I just bought another pair.)
• Hats - unless you can't wear them. KNOW YOUR LIMITS, LADIES.
• Bomber Jackets - not my favourite trend, but I might be tempted by a retro, oversized man's one. 
• Cropped Trousers - wear with heels unless you are blessed with the legs of Gisele. 
• Embellishments - it would seem that all that glitters isn't gold, but it does look damn pretty.
• Leather - why would you ever throw it away? Although think less biker jackets, more skirts, dresses and trousers (but try not to be Ross in that Friends episode).
• Fur - stash it away for next winter.
• Platforms - still going strong, although not the 'flatforms'. Chuck them away, you don't have a cleft foot.

THROW AWAY/GIVE TO AN ORPHAN

• Wedge Trainers - which sucks, because I really like mine.
• Military - this includes khaki and camouflage...wah.
• Patterned Leggings - I mean, did anyone honestly wear these? Apart from 15 year old girls?
• Neon - you're not at an underage rave.
• Peplum - thank fuck for that.
• Bodycon - ditto.
• Metallics
• Tie or Dip Dye

Ok, back to me. Inspired by my research, I have compiled a Wish List for this week of things that I would actually wear. So, in case any of you care, here it is:

1. Quilted Tweed Jacket by Barbour, Coggles, £100 (was £200). Tally ho, here.

2. Bird Embroidered Shirt, Topshop Premium, £65. Birds of paradise, here.

3. Contrast Pocket Cashmere Jumper by Chinti & Parker, Matches, £305. Emerald City chic, here.

4. Chambray Shirt, Topshop, £29. Nothing but (pale) blue skies, here.

5. Leather Skirt, H&M, £60. Don't forget the talcum powder, here.

6. Cream Trilby Hat, Topshop, £20. Cheap Trills (sorry), here.

7. Snake Bangle by Elsa Peretti, Tiffany & Co, £400. Snake charmer, here.

8. Mid-Heel Tassel Loafers, Topshop, £68. Loaf around, here.

9. Buddha Charm Bracelet, MyFlashTrash, £115. Get lucky, here.

10. Duck Egg 'Falabela' Wallet by Stella McCartney, Harrods, £310. Cool blue, here.

11. Pointed Court Shoes, Topshop, £58. Make them green with envy, here.

Well that's all for this week, folks. I hope you enjoyed.

Love,

Belle x